Red (red21) wrote in creativerity,
Red
red21
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The Stranger

Sorry if you've read this on another writing community, but I'm trying to get commentary on my writing style....cause well, I haven't written anything for a LONG time & I'm intrested in people's opinions. Thanks.



Time stands still. The sentinels still kneeling over their fires as I pass by unannounced and unnoticed.

Dreamy expressions adorn the faces of the still children, half thrown ball floating in mid-air.

Two more minutes, not long until the usual business resumes on this snow-filled street.

My pace quickens and I leave no footprints behind in my wake.

Foolish mortals, doting their days away. Never knowing what's in store for them next.

I pull my cloak closer around me and stop before a door. Supressing a shudder I place a hand upon it. Standing tall and proud, it closes the cold out for the inhabitants inside this dwelling. Quietly, I push it open and smile at the girl inside. She stirs restlessly, but stays deep in slumber. Her mother or nursemaid dozing in a chair by the fire.

Pale skin glistens with sweat, her full red lips murmuring inaudible nothings into the air. A soft flowing gown covering the ripening body hidden beneath it. Raven hair sweeping the floor while is caresses her sweet face.

The door closes silently behind me, the strange visitor.

Crossing the floor quickly, I stand over her. Slowly I run my fingertips lightly over her lips, her stirring ceases and a peaceful slumber ensues. I undo the clasp of my cloak, letting it fall to the floor.

Naked and cold, I survey her beauty once before easing myself into her bed. I craddle her in my arms and lay a frail kiss upon her brow.

It has begun.


The night unfolds around me and I find myself sitting alone in a majestic garden.

A bright light appears before me and for a moment I think I see something shimmering from the source. A beautiful woman, standing tall and proud. The moonlight maker her skin glow brighter than the sun, an oddly satisfied look on her face.

I shield my face as my eyes start to tear. When I lower my arm the light and the lady are gone. Illusions in my mind.

Standing shakily, I survey the area. A small gasp emitting from my mouth as I stare into the lake.

A woman echoes up at me. Flawless alabaster skin glowing under the moon's light. High cheekbones and a strong chin adorn her lovely face. The red lips curling into a smile as I sweep my hair back. The reflection, shimmers as the idea dawns upon me.

How did this happen? How did I grow from a mere speck of a girl into this beauty smiling up at me?

Reluctantly, I turn away from the pool of light. Noises behind me drawing my attention.

Tall and dark a man steps from the shadows. Love burning in his bright eyes, as they sweep down my body. He is magnificent.

Wordlessly he steps closer, holding his hand out for me.

This is the prince, the moment I have always dreamnt of. Carelessly I take his hand, falling into his body. His strong arms encircle me and I tilt my head back and watch as his face draws closer to my own.

Strong hands caress my back and lift me higher into him. His lips bare down upon mine, placing the perfect kiss upon my luscious lips.

My dream...my wish, fulfilled.

The night grows darker. Seemingly it wraps itself around her, as the strangers arms had. The stars twinkle and fade.




Pulling back from the kiss, she surveys the girl still wrapped in her arms.

A small smile plays on the girls lips. She lovingly lays her back down on the bed, closing her eyes to the world.

The stranger stands and gathers the cloak around her again, moving fast.

Soon, time will move once more. Soon, the mother or nursemaid will wake to find this one grown cold.

Walking to the door, I pull it open to the still frozen street. Glancing back once, a small smile playing her lips, she disappears into the street again. Time stirring from it's own slumber.

It is done.

~Fin~
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